Have you ever seen a person with low self-esteem? Worse, have you heard a person blame their low self-esteem on somebody else? “I have really low self-esteem because of”, well, so and so. A couple of years ago I heard one of my favorite lines from an instructor of a class I was taking. “Self-esteem is literally esteem of self.”
Self-esteem: “Confidence in one’s own abilities; self-respect.” Synonyms: Self-Respect, Pride, Dignity, Self-Regard, Faith In Oneself.
All of this comes from a quick Google search. As you can tell from this quick search, your esteem of self depends on you. Your self-esteem does not depend on your parents, your spouse, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your sister, brother, boss, children, or next door neighbor. It depends on you.
When I hear a person speak ill of me I am able to digest their words and internalize whether it is true or false, with merit or not. For instance, if somebody calls me an “idiot”. I will ask myself, was I being an idiot? Of course, this is my opinion and translation of the word, but if I don’t feel I was being an idiot, I have an innate ability to ignore the loose-lipped comment. If I was acting like an idiot, then okay. For that instance, I was an idiot.
Being able to process words like this derives from having some self-esteem. I was recently a part of somebody questioning my views on minimalism, diet, health, and more. The person is close to me and was inquisitive more than anything, but kept saying “I don’t mean to offend you, but…” I reminded the person several times that they could literally not offend me. Not on this one. I had studied, practiced, done things the way they do things, and taken a different approach and stance for myself. The way I am living has led to a more fulfilling lifestyle. It might not work for everybody (or it might if they try), but it works for me. You cannot offend me on this one.
Remember, your self-esteem is up to you.
Rely on no other person for your sense of self. Trust yourself. Educate yourself. Work hard. Be confident. Your self-esteem depends on it.